Live More and Worry Less

Happy new month! I hope you’re doing well.

Lately, whenever my wife and I go out and happen to be running late, I find myself getting concerned. What I usually do is replay the situation in my mind, analyzing what we could have done differently to avoid being late. Meanwhile, my wife prefers to enjoy the moment—taking pictures and engaging in activities that seem irrelevant to me. I often accuse her of not learning from the situation, while she criticizes me for worrying about things I cannot change. In her words: “You’re late—accept it and move on.”

In my defense, I always say I’m just trying to ensure we do better next time. But do I really worry, as she claims? To me, I’m simply thinking. So, what exactly is worry?

Worry is the habit of constantly dwelling on the past or the future, to the point that it overwhelms you and creates negative emotions about what has happened or what might happen. It can take a toll on your physical and mental health, impair decision-making, strain relationships, and ultimately reduce your overall quality of life.

Worry vs. Reflection vs. Planning

Is there a difference between worrying, reflecting on the past, and planning for the future? The line between them is thin. When your thoughts become fixated on what has gone wrong or what could go wrong—causing you stress—you are worrying. Worry breeds anxiety and depression. It is fear-driven and unproductive, robbing us of the chance to confront our challenges and find solutions.

The truth is, I do worry—about both the past and the future—and I believe many of us do too, especially in this era of social media. Social media can distort reality, making you feel like you’re the only one missing out on good things. On these platforms, people who need life coaching can present themselves as life coaches. In fact, people can fake happiness, wealth, and even health. Actually, social media has amplified worry for many people.

Worry is something we all experience unconsciously. How then can we overcome worry? This month, I read How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie, a book that addresses this topic profoundly. It’s a must-read—one to revisit repeatedly as you navigate the rough and unpredictable road of life. From it, I learned three powerful keys to overcoming worry:

1. Live in a “Day-Tight Compartment”

Since first encountering this phrase in the book, I have repeated it to myself countless times: Live in a day-tight compartment.

To me, this means making the most of today. Today is God’s greatest gift to us. Though our lives may be full of past regrets and the future appears uncertain, living fully in the present is enough to confront the chaos. Be busy living! You may have failed before, and tomorrow may seem daunting, but have you noticed the hope and opportunity in today?

Can you confidently say: “Tomorrow, do your worst, for I have lived today”?

I like the way Dale Carnegie puts it:

“Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand!”

“One of the most tragic things in life is that we all put off living—dreaming of some hypothetical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses outside our window now. Why are we such fools?”

“Every day is a new life to a wise man.”

2. Use Proven “Magic Pills” to Cure Worry

Try this simple exercise:

a. Write down what you are worrying about.

b. Ask yourself: What can I do about it?

c. Decide on the best course of action.

d. Take action.

Many of our worries are easier to solve than we think. For example, if you’re a student worried about failing a course, instead of dwelling on the fear, sit down and analyze the root of your concern. If the course is difficult, create a strategy—spend more time studying, seek help, and improve your understanding. Trust me, 90% of your fears can be banished through this simple but proven steps.

Dale Carnegie summed it up perfectly:

“Experience has proved to me, time after time, the enormous value of arriving at a decision. It is the failure to arrive at a fixed purpose—the inability to stop going round and round in maddening circles—that drives men to nervous breakdowns and living hells. I find that fifty percent of my worries vanish once I arrive at a clear, definite decision; and another forty percent usually disappears once I start carrying out that decision.”

3. Take Your Worries to God

Are you a Christian, Muslim, traditionalist, or someone without a particular faith? Regardless of your beliefs, I’d like to emphasize that faith in God is not just for those who are considered weak—it is a powerful anchor.

I believe in both faith and action. Many problems in life can be solved through logical thinking and strategic action. However, there will always be situations beyond our control. When you find yourself powerless or confused, try praying. Prayer works—it is a connection to the supernatural.

Dale Carnegie expressed it this way:

“Every day I pray. I yield myself to God, and the tensions and anxieties go out of me—peace and power come in.”

Another essential prayer to hold onto in difficult times is the Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Prayer has the power to dissolve the mountains of worry that weigh on our hearts.

Conclusion

Life is in the living.

Among the many stories in the book, the one that moved me the most was about John D. Rockefeller. At age 58, he was consumed by worries, on the brink of a breakdown, and close to the grave. But when he learned to let go of worry, he transformed his life—becoming a happy man who lived to 97, touching countless lives.

Worry is a silent killer. When we obsess over the past or tomorrow, we miss out on the best that today has to offer.

One of life’s greatest tragedies is that we worry more about what we don’t have than appreciate what we do have. When we grumble about what’s missing, we risk losing what we already possess.

Dale Carnegie wisely noted:

“Men don’t think enough to be grateful for what they have.”

Yes, you may have lost millions in the past few days—that’s unfortunate. But move on. You still have a life to live. Don’t drown in worries about everything you need to accomplish this year. Instead, focus on living well today, cherishing this precious gift of life.

Thank you for taking the time to read.

I am Samuel Ayankoso, The Quester.

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Quotable Excerpts from the Book

“Life, we learn too late, is in the living—in the tissue of every day and hour.”

“The best possible way to prepare for tomorrow is to concentrate with all your intelligence, all your enthusiasm, on doing today’s work superbly today. That is the only possible way you can prepare for the future.”

“It is not miserable to be blind, it is only miserable not to be able to endure blindness.”

“There is only one way on God’s green footstool that the past can be constructive; and that is by calmly analyzing our past mistakes and profiting by them—and forgetting them.”

”I have learned to live each day as it comes and not to borrow trouble by dreading the morrow. It is the dark menace of the picture that makes cowards of us. I put that dread from me because experience has taught me that when the time comes that I so fear, the strength and wisdom to meet it will be given me.”

“When people ask me what has kept me going through the troubles that come to all of us, I always reply: “I stood yesterday. I can stand today.”

“When fate hands us a lemon, let’s try to make a lemonade.”

“The necessity of making other people happy in order to be happy ourselves. I found that happiness is contagious. By giving, we receive. By helping someone and giving out love, I had conquered worry and sorrow and self-pity, and felt like a new person.”

“Count your blessings—not your troubles!”